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Before The Plunge

Nov 27 '16 | By admin | Views: 227 | Comments: 0

Choose wisely

Unlike a lot of unwise decisions we’ve made in life, marriage is one decision that needs to be made rather deliberately. If you date and marry the wrong person you will live a significantly negative life with lasting consequences stemming from that one unwise decision you made. 

Some of those who crossed all their t’s and dotted all their i’s unfortunately still make mistakes never mind those who plunged before they looked or even saw warning signs but still foolhardily plunged in. 

Marriage is forever and ever (…well, so it was designed to be until we re-wrote the narrative) hence you need to be doubly sure you’re choosing someone for all the right reasons. 
Marriage is not a game of probabilities it’s rather a game of assurance. You can’t go into a partnership unsure of the outcome, even mere business partners take the time to vet their prospective partners talk less of a marriage partnership. Life of cause is not mistake proof, we cannot always tell the end from the beginning, we can only put good measures in place, play our cards right, take calculated risks and hope our chooses stand the test of time.
Again, I say choose wisely!
Apart from obviously being in love, compatibility and vision play a vital role in determining the longevity of any relationship. It’s hard enough being with someone who shares same values as you never mind someone who’s values and outlook on life are miles apart from yours. If you don’t believe the same things, have very diverse ideologies on life and living, cannot agree on vital decisions then honestly re-think that relationship.
I always tell people, much as it’s hard to put your thinking cap firmly on when making decisions of the heart. This is the one time your thinking cap needs to be firmly on because whatever you can’t deal with during the courtship days cannot be dealt with once the wedding bands are on.
It’s so easy to lose objectivity when in love or lust (depends on which precede your relationship) It’s easy to wave off warning signs and tell yourself “I’ll deal with that problem when it arises”. Guess what? Problems not nipped in the bud becomes cancerous, a cancer big enough to cause divorce.
I don’t subscribe to divorce, neither will I ask an abused fed up person to hang in there. My take – divorce should be a last resort. A road to consider when every form of mediation has failed, when promises are repeatedly broken, when life is in danger or when it becomes the only sensible route to take. Honestly, I hate divorce but the call to stay or go lies with the people wearing the shoes. 

I judge no divorced person, I am well aware most divorces are not casually made. No sane person marries with a marriage expiration date in mind. Reason I hate to see people contemplate divorce when mediation should be the card on the table.

I’ll wrap up with this ….. choose wisely!

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