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Questions to Ask on a First Date

Nov 27 '16 | By admin | Views: 165 | Comments: 0

So you’re ready to settle down but not currently dating and have recently been hooked up to a cute man/lady. Arrangements for a first date have been made and you have butterflies in your tummy while planning or imagining how it will all pan out. Note, this is not a romantic date and the environment and time of outing should depict this fact. You are out on a fact finding mission, enjoy the company as respectfully as you both can while taking time to later decide if you are both into each other.

First and most importantly, do not over-plan. Do not go for a date with a bucket list of questions and turn a supposed fun night into a tense interrogating room. You can ask all the questions you wish but as light-heartedly as possible condensing them into intelligent small packs (as I like to call them), without your date noticing you have a scoreboard out. I’ll tell you how at the end but first keep reading. By the way do you know it takes less than 3 seconds of meeting someone to create an impression on him or her?

Before the Date: • Allow yourself enjoy the surprise that comes with meeting someone for the first time. Focus on wearing a flattering (not sexy) apparel.
• Bath, shower, scrub, lick yourself dry but by all means please be clean.
• Wear a nice but not too overbearing fragrance-you don’t want to come in smelling like you’ve been dipped in a pot of musk.
• Touch up your hair, your face, smoothen the little creases.
• Brush your teeth just before you go out and remember not to eat spicy food on the day, as you don’t want to smell of onions, egusi or curry.
• Remember to wear nice shoes and a warm smile (people mostly look at eyes and feet when meeting someone).

These advises by the way are applicable to both men and women. Women also appreciate men who make an effort in their hygiene and appearance.
Going on a date with someone you’ve never met in person can be very daunting. Common sense suggests because you have never met before, it is sensible to exhibit good manners. Remember, no matter how much you make the person laugh, they are silently judging you.

Meeting your Date: • Talk less or equal to your date. If they aren’t much talkers try to ask harmless leading questions, that will bring them out of their shells
• Observe culinary etiquettes and don’t be gluttonous. Excessive eating or drinking makes you lose inhibitions, look lazy and silly.
• No sexual initiations or suggestions.
• Be sincere but creative with the spoken words, don’t go announcing your past indiscretions on a first date. There’s a time for everything and a first date is not a time for confessions neither is it a time to lie, just leave those gory tales till you’ve both decided to go on future dates.
• If you’ve got children, mention it and watch their reaction…Very important!
• Even if you find the date boring, be polite, wait a while before taking your leave. Don’t crush their ego please!

Now, the juice of this narrative begins. Listed are five questions you may casually ask a first date that can give you insight into the persons lifestyle and by the end of the date you will be able to determine if you connect with the person and whether or not you share same values and similar lifestyle.
1. What was growing up like? –This is a very important question as you’ve asked so many questions in these few sentences. They’ll have to talk about their family, where they are from, fun things and not so fun things about their childhood, any family tragedies that might have shaped them into whom they are today. This will give you a glimpse into their upbringing. You need to remember no one picks the family they are born into so don’t judging them too harshly based on their family history rather look at how their experience – good or bad has shaped them.
2. You seem outgoing or laid back (as the case may be), but how would your friends describe you? – According to relationship expert Dr Karin Anderson Abrell, “Asking them what their friends say about them provides them the safety of describing themselves from another persons point of view”. This also lets you into how they conduct their friendships and ultimately says a lot about their person how they are likely to conduct a relationship.
3. What super power do you wish you possessed? - This light-hearted question gives an insight into their humorous side or lack of it. It also gives an idea of their vulnerability and character. If for instance: they wish they could fly, they are likely adventurous, spontaneous, playful and curious. If they wish to be invisible or possess the ability to read minds then they are more likely analytical, low key and practical. These questions also cover their hubbies and interests, and from here you can deduce if you’ll find their company enjoyable long term. No point being with someone you can’t have fun with.
4. Who is your least celebrity? – As much as we aim to know what a potential partner likes, it is also vital to appreciate what they don’t like. Asking about a celebrity they don’t like, gives you an insight on the kind of characters they will rather avoid. Remember, celebrities have their lives plastered on every tabloid so it wont be difficult to spot out the character trait he hates about the celebrity and this will most likely relate to real life character traits of associates they will rather avoid.
5. Do you like what you do? - Rather than ask what job they do, how long they’ve been doing it for, do they like their job and the list goes on. You’ve just tapped into their ambition with this question. What’s more telling about a person than what they spend almost half their waking day doing. This question tells about their ambition or lack of it. Are they complacently marking time in a job they hate and settling with what life has thrown at them or do they see where they are as a stepping-stone to their destination? NOTE: Uncertainty in this area is a red flag. If a person is wishy washy in this area of their life, they will also have this attitude towards other areas of their life, their relationship included.

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